Christmas

Well, we made it through our first Christmas without Noah. He was greatly missed. It was nice to see Theo (Noah's younger brother) open his gifts with excitement. Steven and I agreed that the gifts we received, although they were all great, just didn't seem like a big deal now. Imagine what heaven is like for Christmas. Do you think that material things even compare to the glory and celebration there? That's where my son is. Of course I was sad today because he wasn't here to enjoy all of the gifts I had bought him.  It will never be the same without him.  He's not sad, though. There are no tears in heaven. I posted this thought on facebook the other day, "I wonder what Christmas is like in Heaven." A few of my favorite responses were:

• "I'm sure Noah will have a lot to show us when we get there."

• "Whatever it is Noah can enjoy it with his Heavenly enhanced peripheral vision." (He had recently discovered that he could use his peripheral vision to see people next to him. He thought this was a special superhero power. :) )

• "It's a bit brighter and happier this year because Noah is there with his wonderful smile."

• "Biggest birthday party ever...and now they have lots of balloons." (At his Life Celebration we released lots and lots of orange and blue balloons at the end. Those are his favorite colors.)

Sometimes I go into his room at night to read a book to him. I don't know if he can hear me, but it helps me. Last night I had the intention of going in there and reading The Night Before Christmas, but as soon as I opened the door and looked at the books another one caught my eye. Just In Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado. I had read it to Noah several times. It's written from the perspective of a parent to the child, teaching him about how God made him special and how much he is loved. The most important part to me was at the very end:

"And God wants me to make sure you know about heaven. It's a wonderful place. There are no tears there. No monsters. No mean people. You never have to say, 'good-bye,' or 'good night,' or 'I'm hungry.' You never get cold or sick or afraid. In heaven you are so close to God that He will hug you, just like I hug you. It's going to be wonderful. I will be there, too. I promise. We will be there together, forever. Remember that... just in case you ever wonder."

I don't think it was a coincidence that I picked that book instead. It's so amazing how God uses things in our lives to help us. What an awesome God.

My sweet Noah,

Today we celebrated Christmas. We missed you being here. I bet you are having so much fun celebrating WITH Jesus. I LOVED the snowman napkin holder you made me at Home Depot with Daddy. You did a great job! I'm so proud of you. I remember when you told me a few months ago that you were going to buy me some mixing bowls for Christmas. I love those, too. Thank you. 

I love you so much Noah. 

Merry Christmas,

Mom

This picture was taken last Christmas. He brings me great joy.