This is a blog about our little preemie Noah. He lived on this earth for 5 years, but is now living in heaven. His story brings joy to many and purpose to his life here on earth.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
He is Still Missed… and Loved
Yesterday Theo said, "Mommy, I love you." He then ran to get this picture. It sits in a small frame on the entry table. He said, "I love my Noah. I miss my Noah. He's at Heaven." I love and miss him, too. While I am thankful that Theo remembers his older brother and knows where he is, the unfairness is more than I can handle sometimes. It is not fair that his best friend is gone. I am certain that I am not as much fun to play with as Noah would be. I know that there are plenty of kids without siblings and that everyone suffers a loss at times in their lives. This just wasn't my plan. I've lost the future that I thought my family was going to have. People told me the second year of grief could be harder than the first. I didn't believe that at first. There's no set plan or structure for the process of grief, but I think there are things that do make it harder after the shock wears off. Life has moved on for the world around me, but I am still here in my grief. My body is tired of being strong. I have anxiety and had to seek help for it. I'm aware that my plans can never be certain and I am not in control. God never promised life would be easy, but he did promise that He would walk with us through this life.
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