This Mother's Day was tough, more so than I thought it was going to be. I kept telling myself to be thankful that I am the mother of two amazing boys. I just kept thinking how unfair it was that I was denied a hug and a drawing from Noah. I have always loved his artwork, as any other mother loves her child's creations. I think that was the hardest part for me. Thankfully, I had friends and my husband and Theo to hug on. My friend's daughter Lauren gave me so many hugs that day I lost count! What a blessing she is to me.
|The flowers I received from Steven along with a rose from my friend Elizabeth.|
I have this fear that Theo won't remember all of the things he knows about Noah. He's only 3, I don't remember a whole lot from when I turned 3. A man in our Grief Share class suggested I write a letter to Theo talking about the relationship he had with his brother and describing Noah. I would have to tell Theo that Noah loved him so much. He was always looking out for him. He called him "Feo." I can still hear him say, "Feo!" when he would get frustrated with Theo. Noah would always be there to help Theo when he would get frustrated with something. Noah loved to sing Theo a song at bedtime.
Go to sleep Theo
Sweet dreams Theo
We'll play again in the morning
And have fun tomorrow.
Then he would give him a hug or blow him a kiss and say "I love you, Feo, goodnight." Sure there were times when they would argue, but not very often, mainly because Noah was pretty patient. For the most part, their relationship was special. They were best friends. I'm sad that Noah can't be here to spend Theo's birthday with him.