Tuesday, September 3, 2013

First Day of School

Today would have been Noah's first day of the first grade. I keep wondering what he would be wearing, if he would have the same Wall-E backpack, and about how excited he would be. I'm sure he would be wearing a plaid or polo shirt. I wish I could hear all about his day. I wish I could just pick him up from school like that's where he's been this whole time. Life is NOT FAIR!! My life is not fair. Today, I am having a pity party. Pitiful me. I don't feel this way all of the time. The realization that he is not coming back is more real. The pain is bearable but my heart will always always be broken. Ugh.

A picture from the first day of last year. I miss you so much Noah. Your Daddy, Theo, and I love you. Today is Daddy's birthday. Wish you could have been here. You are always here with us though because we will always love you and that love makes you a part of us. This is not where it ends. See you later my pal. 


The Hebbs said...

Wish he was going to school, its just not fair that you have to live with out him....Always thinking of you. Sending you lots of hugs

Julie said...

Jenny...This is heartbreaking. You have been on my mind. Tom & I pray will be praying for you.

Em said...

Not to be cliché but the first year really is the hardest. The first year after Eva died I cried every single day for 11 months. At 11 months I skipped a day somehow and then cried every single day for the next few months. People told me it would get easier. But how can it get easier when she is still dead. But it did. I wouldn't say easier. But lighter somehow. And softer. The jagged edge around my heart is softer now. The pain isn't so raw. Anyway, this is a long comment. But enough to say that you are not throwing a pity party. It is HARD. And even when we know heaven is at the end of the road it is still HARD. And it still sucks. And I'm so sorry your precious Noah isn't with you. Sending love and hope, Em